Triggers and trauma bonds

“I’m so glad I didn’t quit marriage coaching.”

A client recently text me.

We have worked with them individually and as a couple for the last year and she almost gave up early on.

I have felt the same way in my marriage.

Moments where my emotions were overtaking me, seasons where it was just hard, or when my fears and past wounds were being activated and seemed more real than the truth of my heart.

But it’s through these times we have the opportunity to learn and grow in unconditional love.

In a way, we can’t when it’s new and easy, and we have yet to walk through the “in sickness and health” part.

Contrary to pop culture which says if they trigger you a lot, it’s a trauma bond and you should get out.

It’s through the sacred container of your relationship that you have the most powerful opportunity to heal from your wounds and trauma.

It just takes both parties being committed to this.

Even if you don’t know how to be willing to learn.

And stay the course.

It may not happen overnight but there is nothing in life more worth the wait.