Who leads who?

Who leads who.

For us, it’s a dance.

We lean into the topic, situation, and season we are in.

And while we share many of our roles and responsibilities, some areas are more his and some are more mine.

This is determined partially by what we are good at, what we enjoy, and what supports our polarity the most.

For instance, he takes care of the finances, cars, house maintenance, sports, etc.

While I enjoy taking care of the schedules, planning, travel, food, clothing, etc.

But we both cook. We both do dishes, help with household chores, take care of the kids and driving, etc.

Who does what each day is based on our schedules and who has the most capacity/energy etc.

Sometimes we discuss this but most of the time we are feeling into each other and our day and one of us will naturally take over accordingly.

This becomes a way we serve each other every day.

Big life decisions, school, moves, big purchases, etc we spend time talking and praying about.

If we’re not in full agreement we lean into who has the most wisdom, passion, or conviction on the subject.

For instance, I felt strongly we were to sell the farm when we did and for the price we did.

Bobby felt strongly that we were to buy Tahoe when we did. Both of us trusted the other's intuition and we are so grateful we did.

And while he embodies the masculine pole in our relationship we both honor, respect, and serve each other equally.

In some seasons when he was much busier I led in more ways.

In the last season, he has led in almost everything.

There is no right or wrong way.

A great place to start is having a conversation about what would be most nourishing to your union in this season.

What would serve your partner the most?

What would serve your polarity the most?

Make a list of roles and responsibilities, what you want to delegate and what you want to share or dance with.

The less sexy parts of marriage can become catalysts for deeper love, connection, and flow in your relationship.